I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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