i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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