Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
