a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
