yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
