i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize