I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
