I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
