You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
