She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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