I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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