Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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