when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
