Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My ATM looks so different sober.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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