I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
