You smell like a Billy Joel song
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
