Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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