I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
