Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
