And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My bed smells like the plague
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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