You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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