hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
