uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
