i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize