well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
