All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
