Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
