i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
