I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I need moral support for this bender
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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