When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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