Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
did you just send me my own nude
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
