I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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