Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
