I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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