i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
