South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
