what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
