he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
