I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
When are your genitals available?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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