I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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