I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
