we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
