Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My ATM looks so different sober.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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