i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have aggressive nipples.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
