I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
