Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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