I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Floor bacon is actually really good
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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