More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
