kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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