This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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