Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
