i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
