Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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