420 ftw
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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