Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
