suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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