I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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