you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
