He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
they're like a gay fantastic four
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
my liver is dry heaving
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
