i would punch a child for taco bell
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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