He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
