Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
