just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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