absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize