I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
