i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
